The Arm Chair Theory

Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, it may differ from yours and I may be wrong about my views. This post is not intended to contradict anybody’s theories and belief’s.

“Kaira… Have you ever bought a Chair?  Yes, you heard it right. A Chair, have you ever bought one? And did you just go into the shop and buy the first chair you saw? “, Kaira said “No”.
“We look at so many different chairs until we find the right one. Some chairs may be comfortable but look like shit… others look nice, but they are hard on the butt. So the process starts, chair after chair, chair after chair. How many chairs do we check out before we find that ‘ONE CHAIR’ ?. If we look for so many options just to buy a chair, then shouldn’t we look at options while choosing  a life partner?”.
Most of us who watch Bollywood movies must have got a hint about the movie I’m referring. Yes! it’s the movie “Dear Zindagi”  which was highly acclaimed by critics and the dialogues & theories are very much admired by Gen Z.

choosing_chair_etsy

I completely agree with what was said in the movie about buying a chair. But, the fact which stunned me is comparing a life partner to a lifeless chair. To enumerate and decipher the Arm Chair theory, just replace the word “chair ” in the above by “Life partner”. It goes like this…

“Kaira… Have you ever bought a Life partner?  Yes, you heard it right. A Life partner, have you ever bought one? And did you just go into the shop and buy the first Life partner you saw? “, Kaira said “No”.
“We look at so many different Life partners until we find the right one. Some Life partners may be comfortable but look like shit… others look nice, but they are hard on the butt. So the process starts Life partner after Life partner, Life partner after Life partner. How many  Life partners do we check out before we find that ONE LIFE PARTNER?.

How did it sound? A bit weird! Isn’t it? Firstly, the words ” bought a life partner “… seriously.. Buying a life partner…. Come on! I have never come across any store or a mall which sells life partners.. ( Please ignore the point of dowry) and secondly except the concept of love at first sight, nobody goes in search of a life partner, they just happen to us. Now just go through the following narration of the same theory….

“Ketan… Have you ever bought a girlfriend?  Yes, you heard it right. A girlfriend, have you ever bought one? And did you just go into the shop and buy the first girlfriend you saw? “, Ketan said “No”.
“We look at so many different girlfriends Bhavna, Maaya, Sandra, Leena, Roopa and so on… until we find the right one. Some girlfriends may be compatible but look like shit… others look nice, but they are hard on the butt. So the process starts, girlfriend after girlfriend, girlfriend after girlfriend. How many  girlfriends we check out before we find that RIGHT ONE – THE LIFE PARTNER?.

How did it sound? Does any girl will ever want to be Ketan’s girlfriend after knowing all about him and his  Arm Chair theory? The first impression any person will get about Ketan is that of being a playboy. How many of us will be willing and happy to be tagged  as a playboy? I guess it will not be more than a few.

In my opinion, you don’t have to go on an expedition to find your life partner. They just happen to you. Nobody will choose a life partner to just try whether he/she will be compatible or not so that they can move on to try another. I believe there will be very few of such type. Everybody will try their best to make the relationship work until it is beyond repair. The Gen Z people who are on a  hunt for  their mates on the basis of the Arm Chair theory are just playing with others’ lives, emotions and feelings. When two people are in a relationship, they should try to be perfect with their imperfections. No one is either perfect and none can be a perfect match for the other. We all have our indifference. The quintessential person shall look at the positives of a person rather the imperfections which will help them to have a stable relationship and stick to one person. I would like to iterate the fact that, the decision one makes about choosing their life partner shall be a matured decision. Sometimes, people change themselves by putting their relationship first, and transition towards the pole of perfection. So it’s not like always you meet a perfectionist, but you can be a pivot for the transformation to the perfection of your partner.

No matter whom you choose as life partner, but unless you accept your partner with your heart and soul,  you cannot solemnize the relationship. When you get married, it’s not just your partner, you get married to their thoughts, insecurities, fears, weaknesses and strengths. You have to be mentally prepared to get exposed to all kinds of sensitivity and vulnerability that comes along with a lifelong relationship. It’s not about choosing the right partner  but about choosing to live with honesty, transparency, deep love, devotion, mutual respect and trust.

I’m not against Arm Chair Theory, we shall always try to focus on the positive essence and morals from Leaders, elders, role models and movies we watch, which will enlighten our thinking and in turn enrich our lives.

Just Imagine, if a chair has life and how it will feel when people come for trying while buying.

chair

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